![]() "So people tend to be often attracted to the people that they are familiar with. " familiarity is a really big piece," Hobley says. Melissa Hobley, OkCupid's chief marketing officer, says the site has learned from social scientists about other reasons that people's dating preferences come off as racist, including the fact that they often reflect IRL - in real life - norms. Other dating experts have pointed to such stereotypes and lack of multiracial representation in the media as part of the likely reason that plenty of online daters have had discouraging experiences based on their race. Why might our dating preferences feel racist to others? "It made me feel like I wasn't enough, who I am wasn't what he expected, and that he wanted me to be somebody else based on my race." "He was like, 'Oh, so we have to bring the 'hood out of you, bring the ghetto out of you!' " Curtis recounts. Curtis describes meeting another white man on Tinder, who brought the weight of damaging racial stereotypes to their date.
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